Finally Dancing
May 22, 2011 at 3:53 pm | Posted in Motherhood | 17 CommentsTags: babies, motherhood, twins
All the feelings and emotions of our 15-week crash course in parenting twins culminated Sunday in the 9:00 church service and our usual cafe for breakfast. The sermon was delivered by the former Archbishop of Canterbury and had Drew and I both buzzing with questions and thoughts about what he’d said. The day was muggy, but so is every day in Houston, so that’s not at all remarkable. We are still getting used to dropping the twins off in the nursery before we go to church, and picking them up continues to be a very surreal moment. There’s something about walking into a nursery and seeing my babies in someone else’s arms that has made me feel more like a mom than all of the late nights and early mornings combined. Not to mention the way the twins have finally started to recognize us when we come back for them. Sometimes they greet us with smiles, sometimes with sniffly pouts that seem to say, “I can’t believe you left me here for so long WAAAAA.” Both melt my heart equally.
We’ve been showing up at this cafe after church since before we were married and before that, I used to stagger in with my friends in last night’s make-up to re-hash the gory details of our single lives. Now I stagger in under the weight of an increasingly heavy car seat with a happily kicking baby boy inside or a baby girl who is trying desperately to shove her entire dress in her mouth, despite the number of times I’ve explained to her that showing her big belly in public isn’t proper. My order never changes: fruit with yogurt and a side of hashbrowns, extra crispy. It’s the kind of place where you pour your own coffee into big mugs stacked at the front and there’s always a messily stacked Sunday paper left on a bench.
I must show my love for others by sharing my food because it nearly kills me not to be able to share my food with the twins. Since our days in the hospital together, all I’ve wanted is to break off part of what I’m eating and let them taste it.
“Would a piece of pancake really be so bad for her? What’s the worst it could do?” I plead with Drew. He just cocks an eyebrow at me and goes back to his meal. I know, I know. You don’t feed two-day-olds ham sandwiches and you don’t feed nearly four-month-olds pancakes. But Lord knows I’m going to have the two fattest children in town when I can finally share my food with them because you should see how much Amelia loves the taste of her dress. She is going to do backflips for bacon.
For once in 15 weeks, both babies are happily kicking and chewing and gabbing at the same time in a public place and Drew and I each have our hands free to eat our entire breakfast. We even get to have refills on our coffee. Someone remarks to us on how well-behaved the babies are, which is really just a happy accident, since just last Sunday we’d eaten our breakfast in shifts, taking turns bouncing a crabby Amelia as the other shoveled food down their gullet. Someone tells us we make having twins look easy. I am pummelled with memories of days when burp cloths were used to mop up more of my tears than both baby’s spit-ups combined, and I smile. We’ve earned this day, I think. We’ve earned this moment. Everyone said it would get here, and it finally has.
When we get home, we change out of our church clothes and Drew reaches into his jacket pocket and hands me the scrap of paper I’d scribbled the ending quote of the sermon on so I wouldn’t forget it.
“Hope is listening to the music of the future. Faith is dancing to it today.”
In all these 15 weeks, I’ve definitely been listening. Now? I think I’m finally dancing.
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What a great post, so beautifully written.
Comment by Ali Hendricks— May 22, 2011 #
Oh goosebumps. Beautiful quote and post. You sound so peaceful as you write this. I’m glad you had this moment. Writing about it means now you can’t say you’ve never had one like it either.
May you have many more…and may you always make parenting twins look easy.
Comment by Sarah Siders— May 22, 2011 #
What a great quote! I’m glad to hear the Peine family is doing so well. As always, I love the picture of the twins.
Comment by Chelsi— May 22, 2011 #
You are doing splendidly. Let’s face it – your children wear clothes! That sounds obvious, but I will confess that my twin boys spent most of the first 12 months of their lives in all-in-ones because dressing them in actual clothes seemed like too much effort on top of the rest of what they required.
Thank you for sharing the quote. I’m going to write that one down as a reminder to myself.
Comment by Stephanie— May 22, 2011 #
um, two incredibly beautiful children who are obviously looking at their daddy for the pic. it’s sad when you, bearer of life, won’t smile or look at you when you’re trying to make memories. it’s nice when you can finally go out in public and have a small sigh of relief. after your last sunday breakfast outing and your last post about the bearded lady, you definitely deserve it! fabulous children! well done!!!
Comment by Liz— May 22, 2011 #
I’ve been “lurking” on your blog for months because I enjoy your writing so much. (I think I originally found you through “Freshly Pressed” or something similar.) I am moved to comment today because I am so touched by the quote from your pastor’s sermon. Thank you for sharing it. And I’m glad that you and your husband are finding that despite all the frazzled moments, some things can – and do – go smoothly.
Comment by acorn74— May 23, 2011 #
I love this, Taryn! You are such a great mom! Even when I saw you weeks ago, you somehow made parenting twins look seamless and easy. While, I, with my ONE child, am usually running around like a chicken with her head cut off. You are the best. You and Drew should be very happy with yourselves. I am glad you had a nice meal. It’s the little things… Let’s meet up soon!
Comment by Kelly— May 23, 2011 #
Here’s to more dancing, Taryn. Babies look gorgeous. How is Truman doing?
Comment by gcroft— May 23, 2011 #
Oh Taryn! This is so sweet… made me tear a little! The kids are beautiful, and I am so happy for you!
Comment by Kelley— May 23, 2011 #
They are so freaking cute! I love their smile! Hope all is well over your way and that your getting plenty of rest!
Comment by Yitin Doughty— May 24, 2011 #
Aw, I love this! I’m so glad things are working out for your little family and that you can happily enjoy breakfast
Comment by Steph— May 25, 2011 #
Beautiful!!
Comment by Annie— May 25, 2011 #
Taryn, I think this is the first time I heard your voice as a mother who is finally comfortable in her own skin. Good for you! What a gorgeous post! You have a gift to capture such emotions and put them into words. Love your last line.
Comment by comingeast— May 25, 2011 #
oh girl do you ever deserve it!!!! i’m so happy you’re settling into a routine. you knew the day would come, but i know it’s so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes!! I’ve just got 3 weeks left and i’m in panic mode now. so many questions about how our new life will be…so many uncertainties! love to you guys!!
Comment by erin— May 26, 2011 #
I practically cried! I’m so happy for you, and can’t wait to see you & the twins.
Comment by Kathleen— May 26, 2011 #
Beautiful post. Love the quote. It does sound like you are finally getting to enjoy motherhood. I remember when my pediatrician told me that I was in the prime babyhood moment at 4months+, the week before I had to return to work! Enjoy your moments.
Comment by lifewellblended— May 26, 2011 #
That quote took my breath away – thank you for writing such a beautiful post and sharing your heart. Motherhood changes your perspective a little, doesn’t it? It’s not just about priorities, but about enjoying the moments right now and not waiting for “someday”.
Comment by mypajamadays— June 29, 2011 #